2012 Bride - No More!

It was the latter part of  year 2011 when I have asked my soon to be ex-bf what are his wedding plans. He told me to just wait - once the future father in law pays a vacation to our country, they will surely go to our home and ask my hand from my mother.

Future father in law's vacation will not push through on year 2011 so there will be no "pamamanhikan" on our eight year anniversary as we I originally planned. I am not disappointed on the change of events because honestly, I am still enjoying our bf-gf stage and my unmarried life.

Early part of 2012, I have told my soon to be ex-bf that I intend to rent an apartment on my own because of some matters I choose not to discuss here. He have offered me their house in order to save on monthly rent expense. But I know he just want to spy on me - an outgoing person like me will surely have more bonding night with girlfriends(I don't want to call it night outs) if I am living on my own. I do not agree with the idea of living on their house lest we are married, there's still a Maria Clara in me eh!

During our wedding discussions, I have also told him that if my mother will just agree, I will opt to have a civil wedding for practical reasons. Back then, I disagree with the idea of spending lots of moolah for just a one day event. But my soon to be ex-bf on his not so usual one of a kind gesture of sweetness wants to give me a church wedding though. He told me that I am a girl, the eldest and first to get married in our family so he bet my mother will not agree on the idea of a civil wedding.

Soon to be ex-bf have told his parents my intention to rent an apartment on my own. He have also told them that I am agreeable on a civil wedding. Future parents in law suggested to us that we get civilly married so it will be just for me to live on their house, since I wanted back then to rent an apartment on my own. Soon to be ex-bf even told me that future father in law want it to be scheduled once he pays a vacation to his homeland, could either be first quarter or second quarter of year 2012.

It hit me! Am I having wedding jitters? Am I ready for the wedding? Am I ready to face married life? What gets me anxious back then is the thought of not having to share bed with my mother, my sister and our tiny miracle from God, my very first niece. I dread on the idea of not being able to sleep beside my mother and not being able to cuddle my cute niece before we go to sleep. As far as I remember the feeling goes on for several days but my soon to be ex-bf told me that the wedding will not be to soon because he really want a church wedding. Church wedding will entail more preparations than a civil wedding so it will take time to finally set the ceremony and the wedding event itself.

Yes, I have planned to get married on year 2012 but I have come to realize that one essential aspect of wedding planning is mind setting. You have to get your mind ready for the inevitable changes because your life will no longer be the same when you say I do, it will not be your journey anymore, it will be a journey of two people who choose to love each other to infinity. 

2012 Bride - No More! I will no longer be a 2012 Bride - but 2012 is a year that holds a very special place to my heart. It is a prelude to my journey to infinity with my soon to be ex boyfriend.